okay due to overwhelming response, i shall update for abit.

after a few hours, i'll be over at indoor already waiting for my ahzi.. haha so wun be updating anymore till i come back.. or till i got the mood to update larh.. haha!!

sch's alright, i'm feeling damn high now cos the thought of seeing ahzi tmr gets me high.. wahah ahzi!!!!

okay i gtg soon le.. eve's coming over already i think!! see ya guys!! i'm a happier gal now!! =D

jerr-
6:05 PM

my headache is gettin on my nerves, its getting worst everyday. mayb i'm thinkin too much, tts why.

slept at 2 sth this morning cos i cudnt get to slp. i was so fed up with my mum that i started screaming ard and throwing things. i'm damn irritated. everyth still boils down to money. without it, u cant do anyth. my wardrobe is so empty with a few shirts, i haven been buying cos i have no money. ya right u muz be thinkin, i'm working but why i got no money? cos my mum took it.

its irritating whn the money that u earn gets emptied by others, of cos i'll grumble whn she takes the money, but i let her take in the end wad, then in the end i cant buy anyth. those were hard earned money, freak fuck man. not as if i'm very happy working seriously. i'm hating my work and not gg to work more cos i hate it. i hate it like hell.

i'm planned to work with fucking pple everyday who doesnt do any fucking shit, in the end i hav to do it, they wrong i will get scolded, wad the fuck. who wudnt get tired of all these? i'm working till nxt week only. i love my job but i hate my colluegues.

family and work has given me probs, now wad, frens and guys are doing the same to me. i dunno who i could trust and who the hell is my fren. who is there whn i needed them? i hav lots of frens, but who are the true ones? who are the ones who will be with me? i dunno.

fc frens?sec sch?poly frens? i dunno. amanda has been ard talkin to me everyday, tryin to cheer me up, thanks for tt gal. too many things happening at the same time. i cant take it.

my migraine is up and i slashed again, it doesnt hurt cos its not deep at all. its nth. my head hurts badly now, gotta stop here then. there are still alot of unsaid things. i hate it.

jerr-
3:46 PM

*meeps!* i've decided to update again after a few days.. haha

these few days were okayy.. ystd had dinner with ms chng, ym,elvis,naima and eli.. it was fun and nice to meet up after so long.. it has been ages since i met eli! haha she told me girl girl ran away, i was so mean to laugh at her cos girl girl always kajiao me whn i go eli's hse cos i always go and kajiao her. she muz have hated me like hell. (if u are wondering who is girl girl, she is eli's dog) haha!

ate at cartel then ms chng went off first, the rest of us went ard taking silly pics in PS cos PS has sooooo many mirrors ard, i totally went mad and i have alot of unglam pics in ym phone. i took a pic with ahzi and it looked kinda funny. i'm lazy to uplaod them, shall upload another time here then. then went arcade, i played like hell, somehow.. ha

saw someone who looks like him, he gave me the feeling of him whn i walked past at PS. oh wells..

then today went out with joan,wj,ben and wj's fren. went vivocity, its a nice shopping place to go if u really want to shop for clothes and u have the money to shop for them. it would be an enjoyable day there.

bought a shirt,haha a nike one.. not bad larh.. quite cute, saw alot of shirts that i wanted, but then i dun have the money to buy! life sucks eh...

life hasnt been well for me since like dunno whn. beneath all those smiles and laughter ,there is still a broken heart, a very lonely gal. i really feel very lonely at times even though there are pple ard me. its like lost in a crowded world. i realised i haven got really true frens whom i will talk to whenever i'm done. i dun have that kind of fren whom we are tt close till everyth i will tell him/her. wad a sad life.

i still cry at times for no reason cos i have no one to talk to. i hardly talk to my parents now, i dunno who to talk to.

where were u when i needed you?

i aint the person whom i used to know, i'm just not me.

jerr-
11:11 PM

woohoo.. i haven been working for the past one week!! wow, i'm like not gg to have any income larh.. *sucks!!*

worked last mon, tues off(hmms wad did i do?) wed off also(went to see ahzi), thurs, fri and sat.. wahaha MC.. cos of that stupid dunno wad sickness.. sun off also.. did board.. today OFF again!!

i slept at 2 ystd or rather this morning and woke up at 4 juz now, so i have only been awake for juz one hr plus? hur this kinda life is gonna kill me slowly.. i duwan to work, i wan to slack adn do nth, but no work= no money.. ewwww..

i wanna change jobs but i will miss it alot.. i love working there, those dolphins are so real to u.. but working with ^&*()*&^ colleugeues makes the job tiring.. oh wells.

life has been good for me, or rather it has been monotonous for me. no ups and no particular downs, juz tt my N71 died on me. its kinda fixed now but i wan my N91, my mum says no.


xmas is 2 months away, can i send my wishes to santa now so tt he can prepare for it? santa i wan N91!! haha santa muz be thinkin that i'm so greedy.. oh wells. i juz wan love, true love from pple, not fake hypocrites who come whn they need u, go whn they find u useless.grrrrrr


till now i'm still confused over us.has it ended? i dunno. wads gg on? i dunno too.

jerr-
5:16 PM

yea i'm sick! *shrugs* i hate being sick larh, i cant do anyth but juz rot at home..

my ulcers are getting bigger and stronger, they are killing me silently everyday.. i have two big ulcers on my lips and at the right side of my mouth, and one pending ulcer on my left side of the mouth.. now my whole mouth is numb..

my nose is like stuffed with cotton wool and my throat is like sandpaper rubbing against it..my eyes are like rabbits still,my body aches as if there is thousand hands pinching me..wow i sound as if i dying le..haha..

saw ahzi for the past few days, her get well soon has no effect on me.. and she calls me jiamin-g instead of jiamin. see she condemns me haha. went to st james power house de dragonfly ystd for the gcma press conf..

ahzi was pretty as usual larh.. but she seem very wrong and very blur ystd.. but cute larh whn she did the 'yo!yo!' hand sign.. but i still love her replies when she ans qns, its so her and she is so real.. how real can a person get ah? i dunno.. wad i know is ahzi is a real and sweet artiste that u cant find in other artiste de.

which artiste would sit down and sign and ask for your name when she sign things?how sweet, well although she sign some pple's things can dun ask for name jiu write, but its okay, well at least she ask and is true.

ystd at dragonfly was really nice, it was a show of true frenship between us and 933 management.muz really thank huishi and nix for giving us chance to go in and to go upstage to give ahzi mooncakes. now pple might think that i want to attract attention and get close to ahzi, well my conscience is clear, doubt me then, i have nth to fear.

before everyone came in, i was inside waiting for queen to get changed, then huishi came to ask us to ask ahzi qns, then i said okay, i'll ask the rest and we ask as a fc. then i told queen then we went out to meet eve. and sotong me, i totally forgot abt huishi then thankfully queen reminded me, so we went in. then nix ask us to look for cecilia cos they wan to look for pple to go upstage to ask ahzi qns.

so we went ard lookin for cecila, but we failed to cos it was too dark, then nix came to our rescue, so we had a talk with nix,cruz,huishi abt the qns and gg upstage thing. at first they only let one go up, and huishi asked me to but i have no rights, so i ask queen to go instead larh, cos she has every rights to go up..then in the end they said both go up, then okay lah.

so before everyth, huishi came over to discuss wad qns to ask ahzi, we asked a chim qns, but cruz ask le so we cant ask.. then thought of another one..quite well done larh, cos ahzi answered with chimilogy..hur.. think too dark, ahzi cant see me and queen cos we are both dark and tanned..

went up to give her, i didnt talk much, i was i/c of picking up things from the floor and look at ahzi..queen did the talkin..but we took a pic tog, i wasnt feeling high at all after that.dunno why. i know more unhappy things are coming up soon, misunderstandings etc, the past is coming back

okay thats all, i'm feeling worst now.. may i not die before 28th.. pray hard for me ya?

ps: my couz thought i kena hand foot mouth disease..haha..

jerr-
2:49 PM

another tiring day of my working day.. i had a real bad feeling the moment i woke up this morning, i knew sth wrong would happen..and sth really wrong happened today.. while on the train,recieved an sms from asnul telling me that he is gg to the docs, may be taking mc for the whole day..which leaves me and yvonne working DL and afternoon shift is xxxxx..

morning can nv have two persons,how to do swim+jtb with two pple?impossible.well i should say 1 1/2 person,cos the other party cmi..well luckily john came over to take over asnul's shift.. my morning was alrightt..swim went well.. then i had a hearty lunch with my damn heavy lunchbox..then i had another bad feeling again.. was chatting on the phone with azni for abt 45 mins, then recieved a call from xxxxx..
guess wad!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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she called at 1.25 to say that she is having fever and WOW, u are supposed to work at 1, then u call at 125 to say that u are having fever,which kid are u kidding???

pls be more bloody responsible nxt time, wan lie also lie properly larh wah lau.. if u work at 1 will u wake up at 125 then realise u got fever?!?!?! no rite? u would obviously wake up earlier if u are planning to come to work but realise u got fever larh.. thats more logical rite? so the sceanario can be as follows:

1. u woke up early but dun feel like working, u are juz irresponsible, so decided to fake fake that u got fever and was nice to call at 125 to tell us u got fever, and not at erm 330?? thats already very good ehhh..
2.u overslept,so decided not to work so cock up with some ^*()&^% reasons
3.u juz cant be bothered

choose one then


can u sense my sacrasm??

i dun hate u as a fren, well i do love u but the thing is there is a diff btw frenship and work responsibilty. alrights u can say that i'm a bloody serious person.. but well u have to be responsible when u work rite? u dun work for fun, u dun work for nth, u work cos u love your job and has the passion for the job, if u dun have, juz quit pls.

i've been surrounded by useless pple everyday when i work in DL, in the end, i end up getting the SHIT, u know SHIT??? damn fuck can, i do everyth in the end, FUCK..

those who know i'm not that vuglar, i wun flare up easily but this is too much, we have to draw a line btw frens and work ba.. u can say that i'm a bad fren and a bad person, i dun care, but u do have to take responsibilty in everyth u do. i dun care how bloody close u are with the trainers, how good terms u are with them, i dun care, if u can work means u can work, if u cant means u cant, pls reflect.. i can say that i dun go ard tryin to talk to the trainers or to be in their good books. u can say i'm dao, cos i dun talk to trainers for nth, mayb thats why they are okay with me but not close.

i dun care, close or not close doesnt matter to me, when we work, they are they, we are we.. trainers are trainers, GSOs are GSOs, after work we can be good frens or wad but not during work, in conclusion, i dun boot lick..okay i am very mean over here, i cant tahan larhh..

well may the days ahead be better for me! tmr will be room packing day, wed will be ahzi day.. i shall clean up my room tmr, yes i will! :))

have i ever existed in your life?

jerr-
11:04 PM